Fostering a Close and Continuing Relationship
Updated: Jun 17, 2020
One of the most important factors in a #timesharing decision is each parents’ willingness to foster a close and continuing #relationship between their child and the other parent. Many parents still do not see that when they speak badly of one another in the presence of their child, the only one they are really hurting is their child.
Recently, I read the words of Minnesota Judge Michael Haas and they ring true for everyone in family #litigation. I wanted to share these words with everyone.
“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you
two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so,
that is your problem and your fault.
No matter what you think of the other party or what your family thinks of the
other party, these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because
every time you tell your child what an “idiot” his father is, or what a “fool” her
mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person
has done, you are telling the child that half of him is bad. That is an unforgivable
thing to do to a child. This is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your
children, you will destroy them as surely as if you cut them into pieces, because
that is what you are doing to their emotions.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your
children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not
foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”
These words should have a profound effect on any parent in a #divorce or #custody case. In most cases, you chose the person with whom you are now fighting, to have a child with. You saw something good in this person, at least once, and need to remember that this person is genetically one-half of the child you have come to know and love.
Always remember, no matter how you feel about the other parent, your child loves them unconditionally because they are a part of them. Do not make your child feel bad about a part of him or herself out of anger or hurt feelings. Sometimes, being the best parent you can be means taking the high road even when you do not want to.